


Peace

by Azulaschild



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29887476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azulaschild/pseuds/Azulaschild
Summary: Remus wonders if a life with him is worth it. Thankfully, Sirius is there to help.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 28





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes please let me know so I can improve. Hope you liked it!

The room was dark, cold air was passing through the window that reached the boy in one of the beds. Remus took the blanket and tried to cover himself better with it.

He had been in bed for a few hours, he had told his friends that he was not feeling well, that the moon of a few days ago had exhausted him. They had left after quite a few worried looks, Sirius promising to come back with chocolates to make him feel better. That idiot, always trying to make him feel better.

They hadn't been together for more than a year, well, they hadn't been with the title of "boyfriends" for more than a year. Remus suspected that they had acted as a couple long before that, with looks that always met, stolen smiles, and hugs that went on longer than they should. He really loved him, and because he loved him, he had to leave him.

His eyes clouded over. He felt like his interior was falling apart. That was the situation, he is too selfish to do that, he could not imagine life without Sirius in it, it was too lonely and dark. But his rational part told him that he should let him go, so that Sirius could have a happier, more carefree life.

Remus was never going to be able to give him the peace he deserved. A future with Remus meant long sleepless nights on a full moon, it meant being rejected and hated by his own family, it meant being despised by a large part of the world, who could not bear to see two boys holding hands. And besides, there was a war on the rise. Nothing good came out of wars. It would be a life full of pain and uncertainty.

Would all that be worth spending a lifetime together? Would the love he will offer him every day be enough? Would it be enough of a reward for all the things that will happen?  
He wanted to think yes, but he knew it was too much to ask.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

“Moony! I'm back!”

Shit! They weren't supposed to be here for another hour. He quickly wiped away his tears as best he could and sat up on the bed. How had I not heard it coming?!. The door opened revealing Sirius with a big smile and a box in hand.

“Hello” he said with a lower tone “I bought chocolates” Sirius went to Remus's bed and sat at the end of it, placing the small box between his hands “I didn't know which one to choose to make you feel better so I bought several different. There was a new flavor in store. I also brought it for you to try.”

There were at least ten chocolates in the box, most of them his favorites and others he hadn't seen before. He couldn't help but smile. “Charming”

"It's very dark in here." Sirius went to the lamp and turned it on, lighting up the place. He turned to Remus and immediately frowned. “Moony what happened? Why were you crying?” He sat on the bed and placed his hands on the sides of Remus's face, holding him. It was such a delicate and tender action that it made him want to cry again.

"I… I'm sorry," he said with tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey hey, it's alright" Sirius moved so he could be next to Remus, put an arm around his shoulders, and placed his head on his chest. Remus snuggled closer to him “You're freezing. Everything's fine.”

"No it isn't," he said without much thought, Sirius was silent for a few moments, moving his hand up and down on Remus's shoulder, trying to warm him up.

“Want to tell me what happened?”

Remus considered it for a moment. Maybe it was time to tell him what he was thinking. It was going to hurt, but it was for the best.

“I don't think we should stay together” Yeah, he said it. Those simple words had broken his soul in two. He felt a knot in the throat. Sirius let go of his grip a bit

“What?” He said confused “why?”

“I don't want to be with you” silence fell again. It hurt him to say those words that were not true, what he wanted most was to be with him, but it was not fair to Sirius.

He let go of Remus completely, separating a little from him on the bed, Remus felt the cold quickly come back to him. Sirius had an unflappable expression, his head lowered looking at no particular point.

After a few moments he said “No”.

“No?”

“No”

“Sirius listen to me-”

"No, this is not what you want, I've known you for seven years and this is not what you want" Sirius looked at him with a dark expression.

"It's the best for both of us." Rumus could see in his eyes that he knew there was more to those words than what it appeared.  
“But why? We were so good.”

“Sirius I don't want this to end but it's the best for both of us.”

“There it is. You don't want this.”

"Of course I don't want it but it's the best for you!" He realized what he said too late. In frustration he put his head in his hands, he didn't want to see him. Sirius was silent and Remus took the opportunity to try to explain.

“Listen, I love you ok? I love you more than anything in this world, but you don't have a future with me. I have thought about it many times. I don't want to have you tied to me and all the horrible things that I bring with me. I don't think you can find peace here.” Remus didn't dare look up.

"Love, look at me," he said in a loving and kind way, a tone that was rarely heard in Sirius Black. He steeled himself and looked at him. Sirius took his hands delicately. "Remus, I'm with you because I love you." He squeezed his hands. "I love you, I love everything about you." There was something in how he said things, slowly and surely, and that special way in how he looked at him that made him believe it was true. “I am willing to be with you in the good, in the bad, and in the worst. I just want us to be together. I don't care about the rest.”

“You say that now but it will be difficult Sirius, you know it.”

"I know it's not going to be easy but you're worth it, this thing between us is worth it." That was enough for Remus to break down in tears, Sirius held him tight, he wouldn't let him go.

They went like this for a long time, just holding each other, giving light kisses.

"Sorry I put you through that," Remus said. And for what might happen in the future, he thought

“I do not regret it. If I have to tell you how much I love you all the time, I wouldn't complain.” Sirius chuckled.

“But what are we going to do with everything? There is a war on the way.”

“I don't know, I really have no idea. But if we are together everything will be fine.” He said, placing a kiss on his head.

Remus laughed a little. "I like the way you talk, sometimes you can be quite affectionate, you know that?"

“But you like it,” he said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

Remus responded by kissing him, their lips connecting perfectly, as if made for each other.

Maybe they could find a little peace.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song Peace by Taylor Swift <3


End file.
